Saturday, December 29, 2012

Writer's Block, Stress, Burnout, Where was I??

I haven't felt like writing one bit for the last number of weeks. As usual, I have lots of ideas to write about that would make interesting posts that never see the page. But at least I usually manage to post something once in awhile, even if I know I could do better. I am just now feeling less stressed to the limit than I have for a couple months, so I'm hopeful to be a little more productive soon.

I honestly don't remember a time when I've had my shit less together. And that says a lot!  Too much uncertainty, change, and dealing with day-to-day life: Alex has been away 1 week per month since September, I brought Armani home, I had massive job stress and although I'm happy to say that everything worked out even better for me than if nothing changed, it was very stressful in the interim. And change is always at least somewhat stressful, even when it's positive.

Not only was I even less adept than normal at keeping up with anything social, my stress manifested itself in other ways. I would say or write things that I thought were quite innocent, only to royally piss someone off. Oops! I also cut myself badly a few times (yay for adhesive sutures!). I fell asleep one night with a snack in the oven and burned it so badly that I basically created the coal for my own Christmas stocking. It stunk up the house so bad that I had to spend the entire next day scrubbing and washing everything!  That is, after driving 30min to the barn first thing in the morning to take Armani's temperature, just to be sure his swollen glands weren't going to be the hallmark of something worrisome. Oh, I have a new horse, so it's ALL worrisome!

But things are settling down! The few extra days off helped me come back to some kind of normal. It's not quite enough considering what the next month has in store for me, but it's enough so that I can make it through that without losing my mind! I have had actual moments of relaxation in the last week! You know, when I'm not shoveling!!

The important stuff:
Armani is healthy and has gained a lot of security in the last weeks with his new environment. He did seem to be quite sensitive to this change in his life. He was quite insecure about everything in the beginning but he is now much more comfortable. Unfortunately, I suspect I babied him a bit too much because I felt sorry for my little baby feeling worried all the time. [insert groans here, mine included]. He really is a sensitive horse, so it's been a constant learning experience for me to understand how I need to be with him.

Hoping to get into a good routine for the new year!